Monday, January 02, 2006

Vote or Die

It's been called to my attention lately that some Americans don't like our president, currently George W. Bush.

NaturalBlog is largely apolitical, but I thought this might be a good time to examine whether we'd like to replace him with a fake president. A sampling for your consideration:

  • Michael Douglas as Andrew Shepherd in The American President. The greasiest shall be first. Douglas played a widower. Would that Catherine Zeta-Jones imitate art and dump his ass.

  • Douglas's chief of staff from American President Martin Sheen did his own turn as the leader of the fake free world, as Jed Bartlett in TV's The West Wing. A liberal knight in shining armor, NBC couldn't have made him more fake -- when would America ever elect a democrat from New England?

  • Morgan Freeman as President Tom Beck in Deep Impact. Was Freeman the first black man to play the president in a movie? I don't know. But I do know that he's more electable than Al Sharpton.

  • Geena Davis as President Mackenzie Allen in Commander in Chief. No offense to our first female president, but she couldn't carry Jed Bartlett's water, let alone sit in his chair.

  • Ronny Cox as president Jack Neil in Murder at 1600. A classic "that guy" character actor (right), he reminds me of Jimmy Carter. Not only does he look a bit like him, but he also proved that anyone can be fake president, the same way Carter proved anyone could be real president.

  • Kevin Kline as President Bill Mitchell in Dave. Goofy, lovable, unqualified. So a lot like Reagan.

  • Anthony Hopkins as Presdient Richard Nixon in Nixon. Does someone playing a real president count?

And now on to the heavy hitters, the Mount Rushmore of fake presidents.

  • Harrison Ford as President James Marshall in Air Force One. He did not negotiate with terrorists -- he just kicked their asses. This dude was awesome.

  • Bill Pullman as Thomas J. Whitmore in Independence Day. It's hard not to love a president who was not only a good father, but a good fighter pilot too. Not to mention the fact that he personally saved the world from alien invaders. Well, him and Goldblum.

  • Jeff Bridges as Jackson Evans in The Contender. Calm and chilling, he was out to get his pick for Vice President. We loved George H.W. Bush, so why not love Bridges?

But wait -- has a dark horse emerged? Perhaps the man who portrayed the greatest leader of ours or any time. A man somehow still funny in the face of a dwindling air supply:

My pick for president is Mel Brooks as Skroob in Space Balls. His courage and leadership shall never be matched.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Jack Nicholson from "Mars Attacks!" He gets my vote!

January 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peter Sellers? I doubt anyone else could pull off American president and ex-Nazi simultaneously.

January 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

John Travolta. :P

January 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i vote for nixon. the real nixon. again...or a rock star. we need a rock star president.

January 02, 2006  
Anonymous the former intern said...

Don't underestimate Randy Quaid's contribution to destroying the aliens in "Independence Day."

Also, I too vote for the real Nixon. He was credited as himself (through archived footage) in "All the President's Men." So he already has some movie experience.

January 02, 2006  
Blogger sileru said...

I don't want to die!!

January 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best TV president ever: Dennis Haysbert in "24". Hands down, not even close.

January 03, 2006  

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