It's the panda's world, really

I'll just go ahead and list off the puns and jokes that I'm contractually required to make. "It's Pandamonium!" "It's pandemic!" "He's so adorable I just can't bear it!" "Pretty, pretty dancing."

Ok. That feels better. Now on to the screed.

The panda has gotten a lot of love lately. CNN can't go an hour without panda B-roll. Some 13,000 tickets for the opportunity to wait in a long line and maybe see the panda sold out in just two hours. Some people are even promising to do untoward things for the chance to wait in that line.

And for what? Not much, likely. All this little booger does is curl up in a ball -- an adorable ball, yes -- and sleep, in his little jail cell out of vistors' view, all the time. Look for yourself, Truman. And, as I understand it, they're not even going to give visitors a stick with which to motivate the panda to do something interesting. Does he even fetch? No. I don't even think he eats, shoots and leaves.

Here's some free advice, Tai Shan. Learn a skill and quick, because you can only trade on being cute for so long before you end up sad and broken on reality TV.