Disorderly conduct ensues

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. This is their drinking game.

In honor of TNT's 24-hour Law & Order marathon airing today, I've decided to finally codify my Law & Order drinking game, which debuted about three years ago during a rainy Memorial Day barbecue party.

I've broken it down nice and easy, five times to drink during the "law" part of the show, five times for the "order."

LAW	ORDER
"Objection!" The female ADA changes from one episode to the next. The DA offers a grizzled witticism, or talks about having to win reelection. The wrong man is charged. A plea deal is offered. (Drink twice if it's accepted.)	"Dong-dong!" Lenny Briscoe (RIP, Jerry Orbach) gives a one-liner to end a scene. Lt. Anita Van Buren interrupts a good cop-bad cop routine. Somebody buys food from a street vendor. There's a visit to the Upper East Side.

For bonus drunkenness, take a drink every time...

• The same actor plays a different character from episode to episode.
• The judge makes a stupid joke at the bail hearing.
• There's a dead hooker.
• The prosecutors take a trip to Rikers.

Happy boozing, and if you're not busy today, come on over and play.