Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Today we shed a tear for the butterstick

Back in 2005, the long-ago days of yore when this blog was actually funny, I got some good mileage out of a panda born at the National Zoo in Washington. His name was Tai Shan, but I called him "butterstick," a monikor referring to his size at birth, popularized by Wonkette.

He was adorable, but that didn't stop me from giving the 'stick some tough love:
"Here's some free advice," I wrote to the little booger. "Learn a skill and quick, because you can only trade on being cute for so long before you end up sad and broken on reality TV."
Well, it's time for the U.S. to pay the piper on the Butterstick -- he's being shipped home to China, per our agreement that lets the U.S. showcase pandas, but makes their spawn Communist property. It's a sad day for butter lovers, but a sadder day for natural selection, which would have caused these monsters to die out years ago.



Post a Comment

<< Home