Apparently, it turns it out he can

Fox took a gamble when it named its 1990s Ferris Bueller ripoff "Parker Lewis Can't Lose." After all, the show had lost its contract with the network after just three seasons.

Most of my memories of this show are a little hazy -- a few catchphrases here and there ("Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches"), an odd recollection that the woman who played principal Grace Musso had a thing for guys with big hands, and of course a gnawing fear that guys like Kubiak awaited me in high school.

None of the three main characters went on to great stardom. Parker Lewis played by Corin Nemec is probably most notable for having a name that is an anagram for "I concern me." His sidekick Mikey Randall, Billy Jayne in real life, hasn't been spotted since a guest appearance on Bernie Mac in 2003. And aside from a spin as a Reese's Pieces pitchman, the nerd Jerry Steiner played by Troy Slaten was unable to convert Parker Lewis stardom into a viable career.

Who would have thought that the bully Francis Lawrence Kubiak (Abraham Benrubi) would have the most post-Parker success -- with a 12-year stint on ER and character actor roles in Twister and Miss Congeniality 2. Maybe he was the most talented one in the show, though I suppose that's hard to know for sure since his lines were basically limited to grunts and half-formed sentences that lacked articles.