Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Jesse v. Jesse

I know I run the risk of turning this into Fight Week on the NaturalBlog, but I can't help myself. Today I'm going to have two legends of the small screen face off to settle the greatest question of our time once and for all -- Who is the best Uncle Jesse.

In one corner, John Stamos as Uncle Jesse Katsopolis from Full House (1987-1995). And in the other corner, Denver Pyle as Uncle Jesse Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985). For the purposes of this fight, the girls who carry the round numbers around the ring will be Daisy Duke and Kimmie Gibler.

Enough talk. Let's get it on, like Donkey Kong.

HairAlong with "C'mon, huh?" it's his trademark. Long, flowing, Breck-like. Swoon-inducingOften obscured by a hat. Bryll-creemed when not. He does bring a beard to the table.
SmartsLived with a non-nuclear family when clearly a bachelor bad would have gotten him more play.Always out-thinking Boss Hogg and helping his nephews stay out of trouble.
RideMr. Super Cool, he rode a Harley.Mr. Not-so-cool, he drove a truck.
FamilyA goofball TV caster, out-of-work comic, nutcase kids who turned out to be 1) God freak, 2) smack addict and 3) anorexic.Just a couple good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm.
Musical choiceThe RippersThe Banjo
Well, there you have it. I would've put my money on Jesse Duke, to be honest, but it looks like Katsopolis wins it by a hair.

But not if they fought in a bar, mind you.



Blogger DJS said...

May I be the first to congratulate the N-B on today's post. Incisive, witty .... and with a spreadsheet!!

Though, I guess you have to wonder if the N-B has enough to do every day. I caught him downloading pictures of Uncle Jessie yesterday morning. I'm glad he's found something useful to do while in the office.

January 31, 2007  
Blogger Rachel said...

"By a hair"? Really? You had to go there?

January 31, 2007  
Anonymous Soon-to-be-ex WLG said...

hmmm... wonder where you got the seeds for this ingenious blog post :)if you were smart, you would have chosen a much more badass pic of the great uncle jesse from the first season (hello stylized mullet!). and remember: uncle jesse invented tetris*

*source: common knowledge and

January 31, 2007  
Anonymous Sebastian Dangerfield said...

How can you give that pretty boy loser the W when you concede that Uncle Jesse would win the bar fight? Forget winning, he could even run up the score if such conduct were not beneath his Southern Dignity...

January 31, 2007  
Anonymous bean stringfellow said...

I challenge you on two fronts -

1) Full House Uncle Jesse's trademark was "Mercy" more than "C'mon, huh".

2) He'd go with the Beach Boys before the Rippers.

January 31, 2007  

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