News Roundup

I've been scouring the Internets for the most important happenings in our world, and this is what I've found.

So that's what teen spirit smells like. A juror in Massachusetts was dismissed because her body odor was of "such a magnitude that other jurors who had already been picked... indicated discomfort," in the words of a thoughtful judge. "The other jurors would be put at a distinct disadvantage in their efforts to concentrate," the judge said. Her decision to remove the juror was upheld on appeal.

Hopefully he never misses a flight. A six-year-old boy in Virginia missed the bus and was worried he'd be late for PE, so he did what any resourceful kid would do. He took his mom's car and drove it to school. The trouble came when he pulled out to pass someone going too slow in front of him, jerked back into his lane when he saw a tractor-trailer coming, and hit a utility pole. He was about a mile-and-a-half from school.

Like anyone will want to remember this decade. Like a prospector who seizes up land in the hope there's gold in them thar hills, some dude has trademarked the term "Naughty Aughties" in the hope that the phrase will one day be used to describe the decade from 2000-2009. He has also trademarked Aughties, Naughties, Naughts, and Aughts. "Become an official licensee," his web site says, "and capitalize on this once in a century opportunity."