Not necessarily the news

"911 is for if you’re dying," the dispatcher said. Jean Fortune got upset when a Boynton Beach, Fla., Burger King didn't have lemonade, so he called 911. Naturally. Imagine if they'd run out of pickles! Click this link to listen to the 911 call. You'll be shocked at how patient the dispatcher is. "Sir, c'mon, c'mon. I know you don't seriously think the police need to make Burger King give you food faster." He's so nice that Mr. Fortune even calls her "sweetie."

Funny, I always figured she'd end up with Paul. The actress who played Winnie Cooper on the TV hit The Wonder Years, Danica McKellar, is getting married to her longtime boyfriend Mike Verta. Several "news" sources describe him as a "film and TV composer/visual effects artist." I put news in quotes because I'm not really sure how to classify OK Magazine.