This week in the news

It's been quite a week for news and news-like occurences.

William Shatner, TV's Captain James T. Kirk, passed a kidney stone recently and sold it GoldenPalace.com, a garbage collector that moonlights as a gambling website. This is the same outfit that bought a "Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese" from ebay. You know how much Shatner overacts when he's got a hangnail. Can you imagine him passing a kidney stone? I searched the Internet for a tape of this, but to no avail.

McDonald's has brought back the McRib, which not coincidentally looks like a piece of quasi-meat run over with a tank tread, and is trying to build a little buzz with a clever marketing campaign that treats the McRib like it's a music tour. This idea is the rock bottom of ads. Didn't Burget King already try it, and didn't it fail?

The winners of this year's World Series of Beer Pong look, oh I don't know, 100 percent like you thought they would.

And I would be remiss if I didn't signal approval of Isaac Mizrahi's groping of Scarlett Johansson's golden globes at the Golden Globes: