Monday, March 27, 2006

An open letter to the guy who goes through my recycling

Dear Garbage Diver,

You've been rooting through my trash for a couple years now, and I'm kind of worried that you might have developed the wrong impression about me. I'm not that much of a lush. Really, I'm not.

In my defense, I will say that there are two people in the household. Yes, the beer bottles are almost exclusively mine (You'll note that we'll be shifting back to Heineken and Amstel now that warmer weather is on the way), but I have help with the wine.

And don't you think that the recent wine trends shows growth in my pallet? No more Boones or Two-Buck Chuck, only the good stuff. And champagne, too, from time to time.

Now that that's out of the way, I do have a couple of questions.

I wonder -- should I recycle those bottles myself? How much money do you make off of them? Can't be much; your car is even crappier than mine. Plus I'd hate to rob you of your joy.

Taking out the recycling is one of my least favorite chores. How is it that you like it so much?

How did you get into this business? Do you take bank statements, too, or do you leave the identity theiving to others?

Do you have a territory? Is that why you gave me a filthy look that time I rescued the Sunday sports section?

Maybe you could post the answers in the comments section, or on your own blog.


P.S. I'm sorry I rarely rinse out the beer bottles. That must be pretty gross.

P.P.S. Those shitty raspberry beers belong to the upstairs neighbors. Ditto anything in a can.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kinda like the raspberry beers. Cranberry lambic too.

March 27, 2006  
Anonymous jlb said...

What is a glass bottle worth in Mass. these days?

Here in the real world, nobody takes glass out of your recycling because its worthless...

March 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm...sounds like you have a social problem. But that's OK, most of us do!

March 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh,'s coming back now. The blog author was observed being deposited into a pre-paid taxicab (at great expense to his fiends) a few years ago after a Chistmas/holiday party. What's up with this? Do we still have an empty bottle issue? I suggest beverages in cans, as we can tie the empties to the bumper of the cabs for a nice jingle on the way home!

March 30, 2006  

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