Chelsea Clinton: Unavailable

Some gossip rag had an item this week about how Chelsea Clinton was spotted shopping in Boston with her new boyfriend. The story also said she still has a security detail, which I find interesting.

This is as good a time as any to admit to having had a crush on Chelsea Clinton since her dad ran for president in 1992. I admit she was a little awkward then, but so was I. She's gotten much prettier over the years, though some have suggested it wasn't an all-natural progression.

I suppose the time may've come and gone for me and Chelsea to be together, what with me being engaged and all. I guess we'll have to settle for being (Sidwell) friends, but I will say this: The guy she settles down with is getting the best father-in-law ever made, along with the worst mother-in-law in the history of the universe.