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In case you sleepwalked (sleptwalked?) through this week...

Nether regions. If you want to become a citizen of the Netherlands, you're encouraged to show your tolerance by watching a video that shows a naked woman sunbathing and, later, two men kissing. I wish we did this in U.S. states. In Mass., you'd have to watch Ted Kennedy sunbathe. In Texas, you'd have to sit through a rodeo.

I'm only inspired by the poems of Nas. Need a laugh? Might I suggest you turn to Duke basketball star J.J. Reddick, and his poetry.

And speaking of basketball. The president met this week with an autistic kid who was the manager of his high school basketball team, until the coach put him in on senior night and he dropped 20 points in four minutes. This kid is great, a real life Rudy. He really is. But I saw the video and you should only get to meet the president when you score 20 while being guarded.

Yeah. That's right. I said it.