Is prison that different from Survivor, anyway?

Richard Hatch, better known as the fat naked guy who won $1 million on the original Survivor, is guilty of failing to pay taxes on his winnings. He's in federal custody now while he awaits sentencing. There will be some significant differences between jail and survivor. He shouldn't walk around naked, for one. He should also be wary if the other inmates invite him to "Tribal Council."

In other news...

Castro Slipping. Parade Magazine was out last Sunday with its annual ranking of dictators. Somewhere, Fidel Castro is wondering what he can do to stop his slide (from 13 to 15 this year) and crack back into the top 10.

New York now for Damons. Anna Benson and her husband Kris are Baltimore-bound after Mets GM Omar Minaya moved one step closer to his vision of an all-Latin team. Coincidentally, Orioles ballboy applications have spiked.

Fat people date. I heard a radio ad this week for overweightdate.com. Whether you're a "large lover or a fan of a full figure," it's for you. The jingle is creepily catchy: "Fat or thin. Gay or straight. There's more to love at overweight date."