What's the message here?

We've got a race for U.S. Senate race going on in Massachusetts recently, featuring a field of four big-name Dems and four medium-name Repubs.

One of the down-ticket Dems is a dude named Alan Khazei, who runs the volunteer group City Year. Another is the co-owner of the Boston Celtics Steven Pagliuca.

So check out this ad I caught on the bus the other day:


Is Khazei sending a political message through his nonprofit? Probably not, but I'd like to think so.

Just how liberal is liberal

I'm sure you know I'm a member of the liberal media (though not the liberal media "elite," I'm proud to point out), but you may wonder just how liberal I am. Well here's your answer.

I'm so liberal that I favor mandatory government-funded abortion. I also favor mandatory gay marriage for all Americans. The good news is that with everyone required to have a gay marriage, that should cut down on the number of mandatory abortions.

And so ends this political foray.

Has it come to this already?

You may have heard that U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts died last week. But you may not have heard that former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling is interested in replacing him.

Though it probably won't go anywhere, Schilling wrote on his blog (copycat!) that he has "some interest" in the seat. I guess it's not that surprising, considering his campaign work for both George W. Bush in 2004 and John McCain last year.

But I can't help but wonder what's next? Is Ben Affleck going to run?

Palin Update

It appears America's voters weren't the only ones scarred by Sarah Palin's run for vice president -- Palin herself has a scar to show.

She tells Runner's World that before her televised debate, she went for a run on John McCain's ranch, took a tumble, and bloodied up her hands. She declined stitches, and says you could see a Band-Aid on her hand when she took on Joe Biden.

The Q-and-A isn't that bad, actually, and will probably earn her some votes when she runs for the Republican nomination in 2012. Take a read, if you have some time.

Half of what you see, none of what you hear

The Boston Herald does a poll on its web site each week on a political question. Last week, the paper wanted to know "Would you vote for Sarah Palin if she runs for president in 2012?"

In perhaps the best indication of why self-selected polling is a bad idea, the results in the most liberal state in the nation were a shocking 43% yes, 57% no.

Well, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

This post is the first time I've written about the 2012 election. There are about 40 months until we go to the polls.

These are tears of laughter, Governor

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford did his best to make this blog the fool, after my post yesterday touting the oft-reported story he disappeared for a five-day hike to clear his head. Turns out he was in Argentina, tending to an extramarital affair.

He apologized yesterday to South Carolinians of faith, as well as regular-old heathen South Carolinians, too. "I spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina," he said, obviously forgetting the wise words of Eva Peron.

And now, on to the highlight of e-mails he exchanged with his mystery lady, as detailed by the Columbia newspaper, The State.

I'll present it without comment, letting the governor's prose speak for itself.

I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light — but hey, that would be going into the sexual details.

I could use a couple days off, too

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is due back in his office today, about a week after disappearing.

Following the bruising legislative session, Sanford (seen measuring something at right) apparently drove his SUV to a trailhead and went for a hike on the Appalachain Trail. He didn't tell his staff where he was, nor his wife, and he wasn't home for Father's Day.

It remains unclear who was running the state in Sanford's absence, but as a former South Carolina resident, I can say that no government might be better than the one that exists there.

UPDATE: Sanford was apparently in Argentina, not hiking the AT. What is he, moonlighting as a Nazi hunter?

Blago Update

Oh, Rod Blagojevich, how can we miss you if you don't go away?

The former Illinois Governor who was indicted in a bribery scandal is back in the news this week. Here's a copy of a note (and cartoon) he sent to Cubs manager Lou Piniella, courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.


In case you can't read it, the cartoon compares Lou's managing style to Rod's governing style. In a post-script, Rod suggests that Lou put Alfonso Soriano in the three-spot instead of batting lead-off.

That sort of incisive baseball commentary would make for great TV. And, lo and behold, Blagojevich is apparently in talks with NBC about appearing on a reality show called "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me out of Here."

I won't lie -- I'd watch.

How blonde is too blonde

My favorite of the almost-first daughters (though she might place second to the Gore girls), unemployed blogger Meghan McCain laments about her love life in her latest column for The Daily Beast.

"Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become," she writes. "Especially if your dad loses the election."

She also writes about finding pro-Obama stuff on the facebook pages of potential dates:

When I see this type of information I immediately start thinking: How liberal is this person? Do they know I am Republican spawn, against everything that this person believed in during the last election? How important is politics to this person? When I find my father’s face staring back at me on a potential date's Facebook page I am equally put off. I don’t want to see my father’s picture near any picture of a guy I am attracted to, especially if we haven’t even had dinner yet.

Suffice it to say, talking politics would be the last thing I'd want to do with Meghan McCain.

Conspiracy Redux!

Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts's furtive effort to undermine the Obama Administration by flubbing the oath of office Tuesday has been foiled by an overabundance of caution by Obama's lawyers.

The two met up in the White House map room yesterday to do a second try on the oath, this time with the words in the right order.

There's only one conclusion to draw here: That Obama read my blog yesterday, saw my prediction that the mistake would undercut his legitimacy, and decided to act. Well played, Mr. President, and thanks for reading.

Conspiracy!

It's funny that the worst case of nerves at yesterday's presidential inauguration belonged not to the new president but to Chief Justice John Roberts, who flubbed the lines Barack Obama was to repeat in taking the oath of office. (Sidenote: Obama used the same Quran as Abe Lincoln!)

Roberts put "faithfully" in the wrong spot. A gracious Obama paused in order to give Roberts a chance to fix the mistake.

I guarantee this mistake leads to a lawsuit claiming Obama isn't actually president because he didn't properly say the oath. Y'know, from those same patriots who say Obama is a terrorist Muslin half-breed.

One other note from the inauguration festivities. When I saw Dick Cheney in a wheelchair (because of a back injury sustained while moving to his new place -- riiiiiight), I couldn't help but think of Mr. Burns. Not really sure why.

Act now and they'll throw in a Snuggie

I plan to commemorate today's presidential inauguration the only way a true American consumer should: I'm going to buy every single piece of crap I can find with Barack Obama's picture on it.

I'm going to buy the Barack Obama presidential commemorative coin. I'm going to frame it, then I'm going to sit and admire it while I eat from my "Change has Come" commemorative plate and sip coffee from my B.O.-MLK mug set, all while I bask in the warm glow of my official commemorative poster, which I've affixed to my fridge with the Obama "Yes We Did" commemorative magnet. When I'm done with that, I'll have friends over to play poker with my new Obama commemorative poker chips. I'll remember what day they're coming over by marking it on my Obama commemorative calendar.

Join me in buying America's way out of the recession. Together we can.

I can't believe he missed twice

A member of the liberal media (Iraqi chapter) threw both of his shoes at President George W. Bush at a press conference yesterday in Baghdad. The video is worth watching.

I think my favorite part is either 1) how Bush smiles after the first throw-and-miss or 2) how Iraqi Prime Minsiter Nouri al-Maliki does his best defensive back impression and tries to swat down the second shoe.

This of course reminds me of the Random Task character in the Austin Powers movie, inspired by Odd Job (at right). That guy really knew how to get ahead.

What does these men have in common?

It's my honor to present a tryptich of the disgraced, three politicians sullied and tainted by scandal.


From left to right, we've got the accused (Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich), the incarcerated (former Rep. James Traficant of Ohio), and the released (former Providence mayor Vincent A. "Buddy" Cianci).

I see a theme developing. The wisdom of drawing a sweeping conclusion based on a sample size of three notwithstanding, I am willing to say with certainty that big hair -- real or fake -- is certain to lead to corruption.

Now that's how you do it!

Nettlesome federal prosecutors have been all up in Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's business, busting him for allegedly trying to parlay Barack Obama's open Senate seat into not only a cash payment up front, but a big job for himself (and his wife) down the line.

According to the federal complaint, one of the suitors for the job offered $500,000, which is a respectable bribe.

Boston politicians, take note. We've got a pair facing federal corruption charges here who pocketed $24,500 between them. They're getting hosed! You can't even buy a mug of beer for that much around here. About $9,000 of the bribes went to secure a liquor license that's easily worth $250k or more.

Massachusetts bribe takers should take a lesson from Rod. Hold out for some real dough.

Fine for Senate!

Yesterday I pleaded for some ideas for this blog, and someone must've been listening. That someone must've been Fran Drescher, who tells New York magazine she wants to be the next U.S. Senator from New York.

That's right, the woman who played the Nanny Fine on TV (145 episodes, 1993-1999) now says, "I was thinking I’d take the next four years to lay some groundwork, but I’m throwing my hat in the ring."

I am coming out in support of the Drescher candidacy because it's the only logical step America can take after the Schwarzenegger governorship.

I don't know if New York Gov. David Paterson reads this blog, but hopefully he does and will heed my call: Please, please please appoint Fran Drescher to the Senate when Hillary Clinton resigns.

The future, foretold

I tooted my own horn earlier this month when I wrote about how I had correctly identified Barack Obama's greatest strength as a candidate way back in December 2006 -- that voters could "project their hopes and ambitions" onto his candidacy.

What I didn't realize until this week is that I predicted Obama's rise to power a full year earlier, in December 2005.

Well, not exactly. But get this:

In December of 2005, I did a post about stuff I expected to be really big in 2006. The third item on the list was a joke so subtle that no one got it. I picked Texas Rep. Matthew Santos as "a liberal with broad appeal," and said you should "look for him everywhere this fall."

Rep. Santos wasn't real, but the character played by Jimmy Smits on NBC's "The West Wing."

As it turns out, the fake Rep. Santos was modeled on the real Obama. Former West Wing writer Eli Attie says, "When I had to write, Obama was just appearing on the national scene. He had done a great speech at the (2004) convention and people were beginning to talk about him."

So there you go. In late 2005, I read the political landscape so well that I saw through NBC's subterfuge and correctly predicted the outcome of the 2008 presidential election.

Toot toot.

Did I dream this?

Is it just me, or did the 2008 election seem like a movie, or maybe a dream?

It's hard to believe the narrative arc of the Obama candidacy, but it's harder to believe all the things that are coming out about the failed Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Have you seen this Fox News clip, where the reporter alleges Palin thought Africa was a country, not a continent made of many countries? For the record, I don't believe any of it.


This is as good a time as any to say I've gone from hating Fox anchor Shep Smith to having a begrudging respect for him.

Caption this

"Hi. John McCain. Running for President. Lemme give you a little lesson I learned in 'Nam. Double bag it, son. Double bag it."

And you thought we'd get a break from gender politics

I've taken a few minutes off from pondering the Diophantine equation and Fermat's Last Theorem to devote some thought to something even more perplexing: The drama surrounding the Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, who was called both Sarah Failin' and Sarah Pawlenty at the RNC yesterday.

The NaturalBlog has been a Palin fan ever since my one-and-done contest, "Governor Hot or Not," more than a year and a half ago.

Palin is the sort of VP I ought to love -- she was a beauty queen, was a former television sportscaster, and there are photos of her like the pair on the right.

But I get a sinking feeling that my infatuation will be short lived, maybe because she wanted the library in Wasilla, Alaska, to ban books she found morally or socially objectionable, as The New York Times reported today.

The thing that convinced me to write today was this announcement that the 18-year-old hockey player Levi Johnston ("Sex on Skates," opined in New York Magazine) who got Palin's 17-year-old daughter pregnant will attend the RNC tonight with the Palin family.

I was initially baffled by the idea that the GOP would do this, but it makes perfect sense. The teen couple's complete and total overexposure will certainly be a turnoff for voters, and it will be easy to direct that outrage first against the liberal media and second against the liberal presidential ticket. It's too bad they have to throw two teenagers to a horde of media jackals to make it happen.