Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I sing the body electric

I'm having a static electricity problem. In my office at work, I generate a charge ever time I even come near something metallic -- printer, door frame, ancient electronic equipment.

I would estimate the power of my electric charges at 1.21 gigawatts, give or take one lightning bolt.

How bad is it? I'll tell you. There's a machine that looks like this in my office:


I shocked it so bad that it actually registered an error message on its antique display. Such is my power. Beware.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Probably your electrifying personality!!!

February 27, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a contract with Con-Ed ? It would be electrifying.

February 27, 2008  
Anonymous Meredyth R. said...

Maybe you should move to the Cod and offer yourself as an equally clean alternative to the turbines that have all the Kennedys in a tizzy.

February 27, 2008  
Blogger DJS said...

How about stop taking my f*cking reels out of commission by zapping them every time you knuckleheads broadcast an out-take!

February 27, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude! Get a humidifier.

February 29, 2008  

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