News you in all likelihood cannot use

Here are a couple items you should consider while figuring out how to sate your hunger.

Somewhere Chelsea weeps. The second-best thing to come out of the Clinton White House, Socks the Cat, is said to be near death. U.S News says the "days are numbered for Socks, now a downright elderly 17. Socks lives with Bill Clinton's former personal secretary Betty Currie in Maryland now. Can you believe it was 16 years ago The New York Times opined in a headline: "Hands Off Cat, Clinton Warns."

Somewhere Ocho Cinco weeps. Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has formally changed his name to "Stylez G. White." The name is a nod to Michael J. Fox's buddy in the Teen Wolf movie, Rupert “Stiles" Stilinski. If I were going to do this, I'd find inspiration in a character from another 1985 Michael J. Fox hit; I'd go with Biff Tannen.

Somewhere Tom Bosley weeps. A lot of people have lost money in a $50b Ponzi scheme allegedly run by a New York trader. I think it would be funny if Henry Winkler ran a Ponzi scheme but called it a Fonzie scheme. If I were a victim of said Fonzie scheme, I would retain attorney Barry Zuckerkorn to represent me.