Automotive Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?

Crappy convertibles.

Why have a convertible if it people are going to laugh at your car? Mrs. N-B and I saw a '92 Cavalier convertible this weekend, and it really ground my gears.

I understand that there's a great draw to feeling the wind blow through your toupee while you sing along to Jon Secada's greatest hit(s?), but really -- shouldn't there be a limit to the ridicule you're willing to endure?

Stop this joke

You know what really grinds my gears?


For as long as there have been joke tellers, they have been making jokes where people relay news from medical tests and there's confusion about whether a negative test is good news or bad.

You know how this joke goes. "I can't bear to hear the news. You talk with the doctor. It's positive? Oh no! Oh, you mean it's positive like it's good news? Oh thank goodness. What a hilarious mix-up."

Even 30 Rock has stooped to making this joke. It's so tired, so old. God does this joke grind my gears.

What Grinds my Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who latch onto a metaphor and carry it on too long. Say like you're in a conversation with somebody and you talk about "righting the ship." Maybe not an inspired turn-of-phrase, but acceptable. So this other person talks about the ship needing a "new captain." Alright. Fair enough. Touche, even.

Then the conversation meanders for a bit and he hits you back with some conceit that involves "the first officer planning a mutiny on the bow" or "navigating around the icebergs of the seas." Too much. Too far. Let it go. A metaphor is a literary tool, not a crutch.

God that really grinds my gears.