Wednesday, January 13, 2010

You can also pick up some thermal blankets

My father-in-law wrote a book, a compilation of a lifetime (well, a lifetime depending on how long you've been alive) of newspaper columns about being a husband and father. You should buy it.

And if you do buy it via that link to Amazon, be sure to take advantage of the "related items" shopping list.

Amazon suggests you pick up a couple of essentials after buying his book, such as 50 feet of rope. Or maybe a first aid kit.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Please say this isn't a prelude to blackface

Oh, Rod Blagojevich, how can we miss you if you won't go away?

In an interview with Esquire, Blago says he's "blacker than Barack Obama."

Pray tell why, good sir.
"I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."
For good measure, he also threw in a "What the [fudgesicle]? Everything he's saying's on the teleprompter."

Speaking later on TV, but presumably not on a teleprompter, Blago said that when it came to blackness, he was "speaking metaphorically" but it was "a very stupid thing to say."


Monday, January 11, 2010

Sad Brady

Sad Brady made a rare appearance yesterday when the Patriots were just mauled by the Ravens, 33-14 at home. Brady had four turnovers.

I think I may have a theory on why he was off this year -- he's apparently been moonlighting as a quality control officer for All-Clad. Take a look at this card enclosed when our new saucier arrived.


Thursday, January 07, 2010

"Are you my mother?"

Can anyone tell me what on earth is going on in this advertisement?

I saw it on one of the new sites I see a couple times a day yesterday, but I know I've seen that creepy fellow in ads before for different products.

Is he supposed to be a mom? Is he supposed to motivate me to click? Is it a threat? Maybe an html error of some kind?

I mean, really, he looks so molesterish. I just don't understand what's going on here.


Wednesday, January 06, 2010

On popups, rollovers, takeovers

I take it as a sign the of troubled times in the newspaper business: ads on papers' web sites are becoming unavoidable. Not in number, but in style. Take a look at Bernie from the Bernie & Phyl's furniture chain, on recently.

It could be worse -- they could be charging me.


Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Today we shed a tear for the butterstick

Back in 2005, the long-ago days of yore when this blog was actually funny, I got some good mileage out of a panda born at the National Zoo in Washington. His name was Tai Shan, but I called him "butterstick," a monikor referring to his size at birth, popularized by Wonkette.

He was adorable, but that didn't stop me from giving the 'stick some tough love:
"Here's some free advice," I wrote to the little booger. "Learn a skill and quick, because you can only trade on being cute for so long before you end up sad and broken on reality TV."
Well, it's time for the U.S. to pay the piper on the Butterstick -- he's being shipped home to China, per our agreement that lets the U.S. showcase pandas, but makes their spawn Communist property. It's a sad day for butter lovers, but a sadder day for natural selection, which would have caused these monsters to die out years ago.


Monday, January 04, 2010

Whither Welker?

Wes Welker cried on the New England Patriots bench yesterday, not because they were losing yet another road game, but because of an injury to his left knee. It's said to be an MCL and ACL tear (same as Tom Brady last year).

Bad news for the Pats playoff hopes. I've always had a soft spot for Wes, not because of this, but because of his 2007 fantasy football season and of course the fact that we're pretty much the same height.