Think of a pithy headline for this space

Can someone invent one for bloggers please? If you're the type who gets wasted on three or four appletinis on a Tuesday then cycles through your cellphone looking for a booty call (you know who you are), worry no longer. There's now a phone that comes with a breathalyzer that will lock out certain numbers if you're too drunk. I wonder if it also takes your keys.

Conveniently located on Molester Street. The City of Boston dedicated Hooker Park in the neighborhood of Brighton last week. I can only imagine that they named it Hooker Park because Wino Fields and Cokehead Playground had taken their first two choices.