Monday, December 18, 2006

NaturalBlog: Bold, brave, undaunted, and foolish

As we all know, the world changed on 9/11. By that I mean that in this post 9/11 world, you can't go into a stadium without a college dropout earning $11 an hour frisking you to make sure you're not carrying polonium.

Such was the scene at Gillette Stadium a few Sundays back when I saw the Patriots take on the hapless Detroit Lions.

But long before the Pats' stirring fourth quarter comeback to seal a 28-21 win, a much greater drama unfolded at the stadium entrance.

Picture it. I'm wearing wearing loose fitting khakis and my puffy ski coat. Spurred by rumors of $7 Budweisers (and $10 Sam Adams, for pete's sake), I've loaded my person with booze the way a settler taking the Oregon trail would have packed his wagon, before he died of dysentery.

In my back left pocket, a Sam Octoberfest. In my inside jacket pocket, another Sam. Tucked into the waistline of my pants, a 6 oz. flask with a rooster decal on the side. And then the stroke of genius: the decoy water bottle casually hanging out of my front jacket pocket.

In line, I practiced holding up my arms to see how the jacket would fall and fold, and then the moment was on me.

The cursory pat down failed to yield my 30 ounces of contraband alcohol, but the sacrificial lamb was spotted right away.

"You can't take that water in here."

"Oh, that's too bad. It's from the tap anyway."

Score: NaturalBlog 3, Gillette Stadium 1.

Of course, the victory would have tasted much sweeter had I remembered to bring a bottle opener. Oh well, live and learn.



Anonymous Holy Moses said...

This looks suspiciously like your ski ensemble.

December 19, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home