Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You are the Decider; Sorry, Chuck Norris Decided for You

This may come as a disappointment to fans of my occasional series chronicling the 2008 presidential race, coyly named "You are the Decider." What's the bad news? Chuck Norris has weighed in, and I'm sure as heck not going to cross him. In fact, I've even changed my schmancy You are the Decider graphic. Take a gander:

Norris has decided to endorse my favorite evolution-denier in the race, Mike Huckabee.

I'd like it better if Chuck himself ran. He joked about it in an online column in June. His platform?

  • Turn the Rose Garden into a new fighting ring for the World Combat League, in which liberals and conservatives will fight for legislative leadership and priority.
  • Cut spending by dismissing the Secret Service, at least for my eight years in office. Why would I need them?
  • Personally smoke out bin Laden by myself and round-house kick him all the way back to America.
Run, Chuck. Run.



Anonymous Holy Moses said...

Doesn't believe in Evolution ? For God's sake, the man LOOKS like an Ape. Wonder if the usual knuckle draggers will denounce him as a celebrity entertainer who should shut up and act. Oh, that's right. He's on their side. Do as we say, not as we do. Got it.

October 24, 2007  
Blogger nate said...

did you know chuck norris doesn't have to boil water? he just heats it with his rage.

he is also the only person to play russian roulette with a loaded pistol, and win.

October 24, 2007  
Blogger Cedar said...

World Net Daily! That's my favorite source for crackpot news! Tofu makes kids gay!

My fav World Net Daily story is when they published this story about a HS putting on Caberet with lingerie-clad teens.
Originally, the photo accompanying the article was of said lingerie-clad teens, but then they changed it to Liza Minelli. Now who's making kids gay, World Net Daily!?

Anyway, is there some sort of Will Farrell/Chuck Norris feud going on? I'm intruiged.

October 24, 2007  

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