Also-rans

Occasionally, I come up with an idea that I think will be a funny bit for the blog, but it just doesn't work. So I decided to compile a couple of them to give you an idea of just how high the bar is for a gag to get posted. I ripped off this idea from the Chapelle Show (R.I.P.).

Mr. T. Reads Your Horoscope. Self explanatory. You'd think this would just write itself, but I couldn't make it past Libra.

Cheerleaders: Brave, undaunted. Somehow, the cheerleader who kept cheering even after she was seriously injured during a college basketball timeout escaped my wrath. By the time I was ready to post something about it, I couldn't think of anything funny. I'll get you next time, cheerleaders.

The Shut Up Fund. I wanted to write about how Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy always pissed me off, and that I figured I wasn't the only one. My suggestion: Everybody who gets angry at Shaughnessy throws in $5 or $10, and we pay him not to write. But since I came up with this plan, a better idea dawned on me: I just stopped reading Shaughnessy.