Get me Merriam. ... Then wake him!

A friend suggested a trademark a word I came up with after my trip to Barcelona with Mrs. N-B, but I don't know how to trademark anything. Instead, I'll write about it here, so at least it's on the record as my own.

The word (phrase, really) describes someone's ability to communicate in another language. While I'm far far away from being able to speak fluent Spanish, I can definitely speak...

Transactional Spanish
I can buy stuff, get a recommendation from a waiter, exchange a ticket I bought for the wrong day, and even explain that I want a wake-up call. I do all of this haltingly, with bad grammar.

There ya go. Another new word. Read the others here.

It will never be this good again

The Red Sox are the World Series champs for the second time in four seasons. The Patriots are undefeated and make otherwise worthy NFL teams look like prep squads. Boston College is No. 2 in the nation. The Celtics are a sudden powerhouse in the East. And even the Bruins don't suck as much as everybody thought.

The only team that's lagging is the BU hockey squad, 0-4-1 on the year.

But even so, I recognize that this is the high water mark for sports in my entire life. It will never again be this good to be a sports fan in any city ever, and I need to remind myself to soak it in.

It's a sports orgy right now, prompting me to coin a new word: Sporgy.

You: N-B, I didn't know you invented new words.
Me: Sure enough. I've invented four or five in the two years the blog has been around. Click on that link down and to the left that says "New Words" to see the others.
You: Wow. You've thought of everything.
Me: I know.

And that brings us to tonight's word

It's been a couple of months since I've invented a word. Unhappy that newsmerized, eddiction, and screensdropping haven't caught on, I'm ready now for my next attempt.

Wikipedophile
This would be a person who's obsessed with wikipedia, the open encyclopedia that anyone can edit. The word describes someone who spends their days and nights creating their own entries, editing others' submissions, and policing wiki vandals.

I tried to create a wikipedia entry for it (above left), but was rebuffed.

Speaking of wiki vandals, a friend who comments on the blog as K-Don (or did, back when he used to comment) defaced the entry for NaturalBlog hero Bob Barker. He turned Bob from an "American television actor" into a "Bolivian marsupial."

It was about two days before a wikipedophile ruined the fun.

NaturalBlog News Update

Bring back wood paneling! BMW's new sports activity vehicle (SAV) gives us what we've been missing on the American roadway since the death of the Jeep Wagoneer: Wood paneling. Since everything is cyclical, we can only assume disco is coming back too.

Merriam Webster, give me my due. The dictionary people are playing favorites again. Unibrow, soul patch and bling have made the cut this year (what is this -- 1995?) but noticably absent were newsmerized, eddiction, and screensdropping.

Yogi apparently migrated south. This story appeared under the headline "Say what?" in the Long Beach paper. A bear cub climbed into a vintage buick near Lake Tahoe, ate a barbecue chicken and jalapeno pizza, then washed it down with a Jack Daniels mixer, some Absolut vodka, and a beer. I am definitely having this bear over for my next party.

Screensdropping

The word eavesdropping first appeared in the English language in 1487, and then in English law in 1641. It gets its name from people who would stand so close to a home's eaves that they could hear a conversation inside.

In my third attempt at adding a word to the language, I am updating eavesdropping for the present day: screensdropping -- when a friend or coworker stands close enough to your computer screen to see what it is that you're doing. A major office faux pas. Use it every day.

Adding to the lexicon

Given the unmitigated success of NaturalBlog's first foray into wordmaking, I am back with another addition to the common discourse:

"Eddiction."
It describes the compulsion to log onto Ebay every three minutes when you're bidding on a tchotchke, or to check Evite a dozen times an hour to see if anyone new has RSVP'd to a party.

You can use this word for other online exploits, so long as the site you're visiting begins with the letter "E."

Eddiction. Tell your friends. Use it daily.

The CNN Effect

NaturalBlog has always wanted to coin a word. I've struggled for years to come up with a single word to describe a feeling of surprise at the absence of something, but recently decided that even if I could figure out the word, it probably wouldn't catch on.

So I decided to go with this:

"Newsmerized."

It describes the moth-to-a-flame feeling you get when you see the breaking news logo on your favorite cable news station, the strange lure you have to watching the same video over and over and to hearing ad-libbing news anchors read the same copy again and again. It describes when you're powerless, but transfixed.

Yesterday I was newsmerized by CNN's coverage of an air marshall shooting a passenger on an American Airlines plane in Miami.

Of course, yesterday just showed a fraction of the power of newsmerization. It was nothing compared to the 12 consecutive hours I spent in front of the TV during the run-up to Hurricane Katrina in August, trying to discern even the slightest difference in satellite storm pictures. Or during the granddaddy of all newsmerization, the 9/11 Terror Attacks, or its first ever instance, the first Gulf War.

Newsmerized. Please use it in everyday conversation.